


Confession Time

by marmolady



Series: A New Reality: Endless Ending [6]
Category: Endless Summer (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:20:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25839469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marmolady/pseuds/marmolady
Summary: The truth of Taylor's identity hit her like a train... and when you're stuck on a small island, a secret that big can't be kept forever.
Relationships: Estela Montoya/Main Character (Endless Summer)
Series: A New Reality: Endless Ending [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1366216
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Confession Time

It had been a long time coming, this confession to her friends. The big one. The ‘actually, I’m not the person you all thought I was’. Taylor was grateful that circumstances had made her revelation to Estela almost matter-of-fact, just another practicality to be considered. Estela had begged Taylor not to leave, even if there was a chance the world could be saved as a result; beyond that, Taylor’s origin had left her wife unruffled. She, of course, had her own newly uncovered identity to get to grips with. Estela cared for Taylor, Taylor cared for her; the rest didn’t matter. Diego, she’d told just a few days after the showdown with Rourke on the rooftop. As with Estela, she’d told him everything; that she’d had it in her to prevent the destruction of all beyond La Huerta had barely seemed to have registered-- he’d just needed to know that his best friend was all right. A better friend, Taylor knew she could never wish for. Now, though it had been weeks-- hell, it was getting near _months._ She couldn’t hide this. Or at least, she couldn’t keep her friends in the dark about her identity. The whole truth about what happened on that rooftop… she might not ever have the nerve to admit to that.

With everyone finishing up a great breakfast spread at the long tables that had been placed out poolside, Taylor readied herself for what was to be her unmasking. A mystery no longer. The usual banter that she’d have otherwise been right in the centre of just seemed to bounce off her in a fuzzy cloud, never really penetrating her whirring mind. Beneath the table, she had the fingers of one hand entwined with Estela’s, and the other with Diego’s. If it came to it, she could hold onto those hands for dear life; they’d never let her drown.

As Sean began moving to get up, Taylor knew it was now or never.

“Wait--” she said, “While we’re all here, there’s something I’ve gotta say. There’s something about me you guys gotta know.”

Noting the expression of clear discomfort upon his friend’s face, Craig beamed at her. “Hey, you’re good, Tayls! We all already know you’re gay. Kinda figured it out when you kept making out with Estela all the time--”

While Zahra rolled her eyes into next week, Michelle groaned audibly.

“Craig. For fuck’s sake.”

“Why are you like this?”

“What? She’s gotta know we’re supportive!”

Taylor cleared her throat nervously. “Well, if you all coming along to our wedding wasn’t a clue, I appreciate you spelling it out for me.” She winced. This was it. Telling everyone she loved that actually, they didn’t know the first thing about her. “This… isn’t anything like that. And I’m sorry, it’s hard for me to say, I… I guess I better start at the beginning….”

_Deep breath. This is your family; nothing you say now is gonna change that._

“I guess… I first noticed there was something strange going on around me when I found Rourke’s files. For everyone else, he’d dug up background-- even Estela, who’d still managed to keep him mostly in the dark. But for me, nothing. All he could say was that I was born on La Huerta. I knew I wasn’t. But… but, the thing is… if I thought about it, if I really thought, I… wouldn’t have been able to say where I _was_ born. I didn’t think, though. I was so focused on what was going on, I didn’t dwell on the past.”

“What? So you _were_ born on La Huerta? And you’ve got some amnesia sorta thing going on?”

Taylor talked on, over Craig’s querying. She had to. It was the only way she’d ever be able to get this done. Quietly, she was grateful for the silencing look Estela gave him. “...And then weird things kept happening to me. Every now and then, I’d touch an object and get a vision. Clear as day. Sometimes, it was just random items; when I first held Yvonne’s sword, I saw Malatesta’s crew killed by Vaanti warriors. But mostly…” She shuddered, and felt Estela and Diego simultaneously reach out and hold her. The visions that continued to haunt her dreams were torture to revisit. “The idols. The visions the Endless had shown me… something from your pasts, and… and your deaths here on La Huerta. I guess the Endless herself was another big clue that there was something strange about me. Then, there was the way I’d get caught in a time loop that no one else could feel, the way the crystal pillar responded to me… and some time along the way, I realised I couldn’t remember a single damn thing about my family. I didn’t think about it too hard until _Niala’rei_ , I figured it was just La Huerta fucking with my head, but when we were up on the rooftop with Rourke… Vaanu… Vaanu spoke to me.”

Her breath shuddered, but she continued. “Th-they told me that they’d created me from a piece of themselves. That I’d come into existence as you were flying into La Huerta. I was there to fill a lonely, empty space,” Taylor looked up to Diego, her eyes swimming, “and to help you all get through everything that was to come. Vaanu thought you all needed someone, and so… they made me.”

The silence that followed seemed to buzz in Taylor’s ears, and for a moment, she felt as though she might pass out. Or vomit. Which, was something of a toss-up at that point….

Raj’s low exclamation of absolute awe and bewilderment was the first sound to pierce the silence. “ _Shiiiiitttt_! Wait… you’re sure you’re not tripping, right? Am _I_ tripping?”

“Taylor,” Sean said, an expression of sympathy upon his face, “…I had no idea you were dealing with any of this; I’m sorry.”

“How are you holding up?” Grace asked tentatively.

“Mmm… getting there. Getting somewhere close to acceptance. That’s why I’m telling you guys now.”

“Damn, Tayls, mind-fuck much?” Zahra quipped, but behind the snark was an expression of true care and concern.

Taylor huffed out a laugh, relief starting to bring feeling back to her numb body. “Yeah. Understatement of the century, but… yeah.” She saw Jake’s mouth open and hastily spoke again before he could get a word day. “And I know you’re gonna have a field day with this, Top Gun, but can we please stick to ‘Princess’ for the foreseeable?”

Jake put his hands up. “I got that much of a reputation for sensitivity? Ouch.”

Michelle stood up abruptly and strode away from the group, emotions warring on her face.

“’Chelle, are you--?” Quinn began.

“I need to get some air,” came the short reply.

Once again, Taylor began to dissociate. Voices around her became muffled. _How could you expect everyone to be okay with this? You’re a walking lie. Why should they ever trust you again?_

“It’s okay, Taylor,” Estela murmured against her temple. “It’s a lot to process. But we’ve taken everything La Huerta threw at us and come through together. That’s not gonna change now.”

Diego offered a gently reassuring smile. “Pretty sure you’re stuck with us, Tay; like it or not.”

“Dammit, and here I thought I was finally going to scare you away…. Will I never be rid of you?”

“No chance!”

“Guys, I might go after Michelle. I really don’t think she’s been coping.”

The brief spark of lightness fell from Taylor’s face. “I don’t think she has been either. I hate that I’m adding on more, I just… the longer it waited, the more it would feel like I’ve been lying to her. Michelle deserves better than that. You all do.”

Getting to her feet, Quinn wrapped Taylor in a hug, no doubt setting the scene for many more hugs to come.

“You can’t be hard on yourself, Taylor,” she said resolutely. “Sometimes we don’t get a choice; sometimes people get hurt, and it’s all you can do to minimise it as much as you can.” With a tight squeeze, she hoped to impart the compassion and empathy that surged through her body. Quinn knew what it was to be embodied by Vaanu, to have that presence challenge her sense of self. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Thanks, Quinn. You really are a superhero. Just… just make sure Michelle’s all right.”

Taylor watched Quinn leave, biting her lip. As far as she was concerned, Michelle had every reason to be upset. It might just be that everything had changed, irreparably.

* * *

A little way up the beach, Quinn found Michelle sitting against a palm tree, head in her hands.

“Hey, Chelle… it’s just me. I wanted to make sure you were okay. That was a lot to digest.”

For a while, Michelle neither moved nor spoke. Her body trembled; confusion, rage… something like _loss._ She’d trusted Taylor. Completely. For it to be as though she’d not truly known her at all, would have been a slap in the face even before she thought about what Taylor’s identity meant to her.

Slowly, she lifted her head, meeting Quinn’s shining blue eyes. It took every effort to keep her voice from shaking. “Is it right that Taylor even had a say? What has she lost? It wasn’t her world to choose to let burn--”

“Michelle, _no._ _”_ Quinn hunkered down beside her friend, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. This was tough, it was so damn tough, but they had to hold on together. “You can’t start thinking like that. If you start, where does it end? We don’t get to decide whose voice matters in a family. And that’s what we are. Do you really believe Taylor, _our_ Taylor, wouldn’t care about what was being lost any less than the rest of us?”

Her lips pursed, Michelle considered her words carefully. Quinn wanted so much to see the best in Taylor, whom she’d been close to from the very beginning, and she admired that… but the cold hard reality couldn’t just be ignored. “I think,” she said at last, “in that moment she wanted to bring Rourke down. She saw Estela hurting, and rational thought went out the window.You can’t pretend you don’t know that’s her weakness.”

Quinn frowned. It was a truth hard to deny. She’d seen it herself; Taylor standing by, practically giving Estela her blessing to beat Lila to death in a wild fury. Had no one else been there to intervene… it didn’t bear thinking about. But she knew her friend’s heart. Taylor loved fiercely, and it wasn’t just Estela.

“She saw us _all_ hurting. All she’s ever wanted is to care for us. Every one of us made the best decision we could in an impossible situation. And I understand why so many of us see this as the lesser evil.” She squeezed Michelle’s hand.“It’s okay to be broken by this… we all are-- _shattered._ But don’t push away the people who love you. We’re gonna need all of us to put ourselves back together again.”

Michelle made a sound like a scalded cat, and rose to her feet. “ _I’m sick to death of being lied to, Quinn!_ I finally start feeling like I can trust, _really_ trust, after….” She shook her head.

“Hey, hey, hey…. It’s not like that, ‘Chelle. When you think about it, that’s what Taylor’s going through now. Everything she thought she knew about _herself_ , it’s all been a lie she couldn’t help but believe. However shocked we are, it can’t be anything close…. I don’t know how anyone can even begin to process something like that. And the whole time, she’s been doing what she always does, try to keep everyone together while we’re falling apart. She’s still our Taylor.”

Her chest heaved as she looked down to Quinn, her mind a whirr; then Michelle held out her hand. She helped Quinn to her feet, then stood in contemplative silence. The more she thought about it, the more it added up. Never had Taylor really talked about anything in her past that didn’t involve Diego; it had been he that her whole existence had been built around. Even after they lost the world, she hadn’t mentioned a single family member that she was grieving. Caught up in her own overwhelming feeling of loss, Michelle hadn’t noticed. _Well, you can’t exactly rag on Taylor for being a shit friend when you pay_ that _much attention._

“How did we not know?”

Quinn’s expression turned sheepish.

“Wait-- did you--?”

“Oh, no; I didn’t know. I felt there was… _something_. Some weird connection that Taylor had to Vaanu, much more than anyone else. Well, except for me, of course, when they inhabited me through the Heart.I never knew the right way to ask her about it… if she even knew herself.”

Michelle exhaled heavily. At least that was something. If Quinn had been purposely keeping her in the dark, she didn’t think she could stand it; not now. Since they’d sealed themselves away upon La Huerta, it had been Quinn who Michelle had found herself turning to; her rock. And, of course, it was now Quinn who’d help her come to terms with what was just another twist that this godforsaken island had to throw at them. If they were to somehow thrive here, they had to believe in one another-- all that La Huerta bullshit could not take away the strongest truth that they’d come to rely on. The Catalysts were a family.

“Taylor’s good as a sister to me,” she said at last. “And if you, me, the rest of us, are all the family she’s ever had; there’s not a fucking chance in hell I’ll turn my back on her now. I’m done pushing people away.”

The two women embraced, a gentle breeze whipping their hair. Neither had any doubt that their found sister would need their support in the wake of her confession. And they would give it, just as doubtlessly.

* * *

After a long while, Taylor had emerged from a barrage of questions, of sympathetic looks, and reassuring hugs, and packed up to go foraging; just her and Estela. Finally, she could just breathe, free from the shadow of her own inherent oddity. Her friends meant well, but all she really craved was to know that nothing had changed. To feel like a human being-- for now at least, it was asking a lot.

Estela, a good deal more adept in a survival situation, took the lead, but Taylor was never left in any doubt that her wife was almost as tuned-in to _her_ as she was their surroundings. Aware of her, always. Taylor kept close, feeling comfort in that strong presence. Foraging for native fruits, nuts, and honey was becoming a regular activity, even while The Celestial’s food stocks were still holding up. The good times wouldn’t last, and the group had been receiving guidance from Varyyn and various other helpful Vaanti in how best to utilise the rich forests’ resources. The treks out into the jungle made for good contemplation time, and today, Taylor was grateful for the opportunity to clear her thoughts.

As the sun reached its highest point in the sky, the pair came onto a rushing waterfall.

“This looks like a good place to take a breather,” Taylor announced. “I could _really_ use a drink right now.”

Estela smiled, peeling off her sweaty backpack and stripping down to her swimsuit. “You won’t get an argument from me. I am more than ready to cool off.”

Getting the hint, Taylor relieved herself of her own clothes and lowered her body into the water by the bottom of the falls.

“Oh, yeeesss. That’s nice. That’s really--” She shrieked as an enormous splash caught her smack in the face. “ _Hey!”_

Estela came up to the surface, giggling fit to burst. After a tense morning, a bit of cheeky frivolity would do Taylor the world of good.

Spluttering, Taylor sent back a splash at her wife, recovering just enough to choke out a laugh. _Okay, I’ll bite._

For a long while, they enjoyed a frenetic game of chasing, splashing, tickling… just laughing the time away. Pent-up stress flowed out from Taylor’s body as she played; with Estela she might as well be floating on air, and she was certain her wife had been seeking that release for her.

Then, Estela backed her against the rocky cliff-face behind the falls, and captured her lips in a hard kiss, one that left Taylor utterly dizzy.

“ _Ohmygod--”_ she gasped as she came away.

Satisfaction quirked upon Estela’s face. She entwined her fingers with Taylor’s. “Come on.”

Together, they climbed up into a hollowed out cave in the rock-face, and having cleared the foaming spray of water, fell into one other’s arms to be engulfed in hungry kisses.

Taylor arched her back, pressing herself flush against Estela’s chest, letting go of a rumbling moan as the kisses against her throat became gentle nips.

“ _Estela_ … my starlight… my star…”

“That’s it, _amor._ Let me show you how I love you.”

Those words made Taylor damn near go to pieces, a shiver rolling down her spine.

“Please….”

The warm brush and press of Estela’s full lips trailed downwards as she gently unclasped her wife’s swimsuit top, letting it fall aside. She guided Taylor back until she was sitting against the cool wall of the cave, then on her knees crawled ever closer. Cupping the swell of Taylor’s breast, Estela kissed through a moaning exhale. And she knew that she would not part from her lover until Taylor was left with not a trace of doubt; she was utterly accepted for all she was, she was adored, and most of all, she was Estela’s.

The roar of the waterfall slowly brought Taylor back to her senses as she came down from the highest of highs, her heaving chest against Estela’s own bare one, the warmth of her sweat-drenched back at odds with the cool, damp stone. She hummed contentedly as Estela’s calloused fingers tenderly combed through her hair.

“Taylor…” came a hoarse whisper.

“Yeah?”

“You know I’ve never… I never saw you differently. Not for a second. You’re my Taylor. _Mine.”_

Taylor felt her insides clench. She didn’t want to be different; she didn’t want to be anything but this. Of course, Estela saw her-- it was _Estela_ \-- but everyone else? They’d never see her the same again; now, she would stand apart, for their world had never been hers.

Estela tipped Taylor’s chin so that their eyes met _._ The sorrow there was palpable, and it hurt Estela’s heart.Now that everyone knew, there could be no more hiding from the weight of the truth. Taylor was _different. “_ And where you come from, what you’re made from… none of it changes a thing. Not who you are, not how I feel about you-- nothing. Just like it never changed Aleister or…” Her voice hushed, turning to a pained whisper. “ _Or me_.”

Taylor sniffed, but managed a weak smile. All those pep talks she’d been giving had clearly rubbed off on her wife. It was no surprise to her; Estela’s deeply compassionate nature might have long been hidden from the world, but Taylor had always seen it. “I know. I know you love me the same. You just… get me. The way you always have. I love you so, so much, Estela. Even when I didn’t think I knew for sure anything else about myself, you were… you were like a certainty. The person I could always turn to.”

“And you always can, okay? Forever. I don’t know if I can make this easier for you; I know I can’t ever truly understand. But I’m here, and I love you.”

Her heart swelling, Taylor took Estela’s face in her hands, cradling her as she brought her in for a slow and tender kiss. Safe in those arms, she was not a mysterious being, an oddity to the world… she was simply Estela’s person.

“You do more than you know, trust me.”

* * *

Taylor and Estela trudged up to the resort with bulging packs full of fruits and jungle herbs slung over their shoulders. It was what Taylor needed, she was completely certain, to have busied herself with something practical. She wasn’t some alien, on the outside looking in, but an integral and irreplaceable part of the team.

As they neared the poolside, a red-haired figure sprung forward.

“Taylor, Estela-- hi!” Quinn called out. She rushed over and put her arms around her friend. “I was hoping I’d catch you before dinner.”

Taylor was sure that her cheeks were reddening. If it were anyone else, she might have balked at the attention, knowing full well where it was headed. But that it was Quinn seeking her out, genuine and compassionate as always, she couldn’t turn away. They shared far too much for that to be an option.

“Hi… hi, Quinn,” she responded, voice straining with now-familiar nerves. She hated it. Talking to her friends should have been the easiest thing in the world. “Yeah, we went out to top-up the kitchen. If we’re going to try out a few more Vaanti recipes, we’ve gotta broaden our palates a bit.”

“Great!” Quinn replied brightly. “It’s like it’s a whole new food language we’ve got to learn. Like you say, we’ve got to start somewhere. I’ll have to branch out my cupcake flavours some more.”

Taylor put on a pout. She appreciated that Quinn was beating around the bush a little, letting her feel normal. God, what she’d give to be normal… but then, how could she even _think_ that, knowing what her friends had lost? “What? You’re going out of strawberry? How could you do this to me, Quinn?”

The redhead chuckled. “Don’t you worry, I’m not about to let go of the crowd-pleasers. Right now, sentimental value counts for a whole lot.”

Estela nodded sagely, a sparkle in her eye. “I found something that looks kind of like a custard apple. We used to eat them all the time in San Trobida; you could make a cupcake for my home.”

“I’ll put the order in.”

“So, uh… I’m guessing you wanted to talk to me about that revelation this morning.”

It was Quinn’s turn to flush. “I can imagine you’d rather it wasn’t brought up. So, I just want you to know that I’m here. If you need to talk, or rant and rage, or cry, or all of the above.”

A small smile tugged at Taylor’s lips. “Thanks. I can’t tell you what that means.”

There was a moment of quiet, then Estela took her leave-- though not without a hug for Quinn and a soft kiss left upon Taylor’s cheek.

Taylor returned the kiss gratefully. “I’ll catch up with you in a minute, yeah? Love you.” Then she looked back to Quinn, studying her face, searching. She’d suspected for a while, but had never quite had the guts to face the exposure of herself that would have been inevitable. “Hey, Quinn… this might sound weird but, did you know about me? I always had this feeling….”

“I don’t know if you can say I _knew_ , but, I had an inkling. More than an inkling. Since the Heart healed me, I’ve always felt this energy around you, just like with the crystals, with Vaanu themselves. I knew your connection to Vaanu was so strong, that they were somehow apart of you, but exactly what it all meant…? I didn’t know for sure.”

“Part of me wishes I’d said something to you sooner. If anyone would be able to, you know, _get it,_ it would be you. I’ve been so, so scared of what I am-- whether I’m even still the me I always thought I was.”

Quinn took Taylor’s hand in her own and squeezed it tight, as she did, meeting her gaze with support clear in her eyes. “When I was feeling the same, you were always there for me. You never invalidated my feelings, but you assured me that I’d be okay, that I’d be loved by my friends no matter what.”

“You didn’t let the world die, Quinn….”

Confusion registered briefly on Quinn’s face, and Taylor had to force herself not to wince. She took a deep breath.

“I’m the last piece,” she said shakily. “I’m what was needed to set everything right. I-if I’d joined with Vaanu, disappeared, this could have all been different. I could have saved everyone. I’m so, s-so sorry. I couldn’t… I just couldn’t…”

Not even flinching, Quinn put her arms around her friend and held her fiercely.

“Hey, hey, hey… _no._ Taylor, you’re not expendable. I wanted the world to be saved, but no one should be sacrificed to change the past. Sometimes… sometimes we’ve just got to learn to live with a reality, however cruel it seems. We’re all here together-- and we never would have made it if it wasn’t for you. So, I’m telling you what you told me; it’s gonna be okay.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Taylor whimpered.

“Tay, you have saved us all _so_ many times. No matter what you might think, you’re a human being. What was put on you was too much, and that’s not your fault. I… I had a feeling. And it doesn’t change a thing, okay? You are one of the bravest people I’ve ever met, the most _amazing_ friend, and I love you.”

Taylor let herself be hugged, and a mammoth exhale passed her lips. The truth was out there, or at least, as much of the truth as she was yet-- or maybe ever-- prepared to give. That she’d been able to unload her greatest shame upon the supportive shoulders of Quinn, of Diego, of Estela, would carry her through

With Quinn’s arm around her, she walked the rest of the way to the pool, where the rest of the group-- her family-- were gearing up for what looked like another party. From a sun-lounger, Michelle waved them over.

“Where the hell have you two been? You know I can’t deal with an intoxicated Craig without you….”

And Taylor could only laugh. _Huh_ , she thought, _I guess nothing’s changing after all._


End file.
